Saturday, August 29, 2009

To Singapore, I love you.

Dear Readers,

I am writing on my 2nd anniversary of leaving Singapore. I can’t believe that it has taken me 2 years to set aside time to finish my blog posts on my life in Singapore. Maybe I should call this entry “closure” or “Proof of Stacy’s freakishly amazing memory”

I spent my last dollars buying groceries for the small house party gathering I was holding to say one last goodbye to all my friends. And it was a total cry fest for me. Complete! I think it started when Xinhui, Arthur, Mark, KL, Cat, Charles, Chris and Eileen left. I was doing alright, tearing a bit, and then KL says, “Don’t worry Stacy, don’t cry…”

Word from the wise: When you see someone with teary-eyes, do NOT say, “Don’t cry” because that quite simply is the key to the flood gates.

I don’t remember the sequence of people leaving, but when Yeen and Ginnah were leaving, they wanted to take photos, where I looked absolutely red swollen eyed, and I was crying as they went into the elevator, waving goodbye as the elevator door shut.

When Richard and Sooleng said goodbye to me, they both hugged me. And Richard said, “Stacy, you’ll do great in Bangkok, whatever you touch turns to Gold.” Those words haunted my first year in Bangkok, because I wasn’t turning things to gold. And it built unreal expectations. Richard meant it with the deepest sincerity, but I have slowly and painfully learnt that contrary to not-so-popular belief, I am not Midas.

Rachel pulled me into my room to chat for a bit, and gave me goodbye presents. Got teary again... I am just so appreciative to this day.... how fast we became friends, and still chat on a regular basis. Chris was a darling, he is quite shy but stayed until very late, meeting all my friends and was very :( that I was leaving, So much so that we also met the following day for lunch (August 28th)

When Marsha, Pam and Paul said goodbye to me, I was so touched. Firstly, Pam made me a card, with our photo together – Pam looking fabulous, me looking extremely washed out with my horrid bleach blonde streaks. She is such a loving caring friend! Marsha gave me a book, “The Little Prince.” It is my favourite book!!! We never spoke about it, but it turns out to be her favourite book too! And when I exclaimed, “It’s my favourite book!” she looked at me, as if to say, “I knew it.”, in a way that we are kindred spirits. Which I could really see, I only started to really talk to Marsha maybe in May? But somehow we understand each other really well, like old friends, old souls. The inscription in the book writes, “Simple as life should be.”

Kym, her boyfriend Jaeson, and Maurice came. They stayed the latest, helped me clean up the apartment, dishes and all. I have to say, I was a bit anxious more like nervous when it came to saying goodbye to Maurice. What to say, what to do, and Kathy was telling me go go go! It was a good thing I didn’t say anything at all, because it would had been completely foolish. But he gave me the warmest hug, our first hug on my last night in Singapore.

I don’t think I slept a wink, maybe just a quick nap, and last minute packing. Believe it or not, I had close to 5 extra bags of clothes or luggages that I asked Kathy to bring over to Bangkok. My roommates came to visit me in October 2007, all 6 of them. Marcus asked Kathy, “wow Stacy has so many things, how long has she been in Singapore for? 5 years?” Kathy replied, “no, just 2.” Haha. What can I say, the Stacy-of-2005-to-2007 was a clothes shopaholic.

On August 28th, I woke up early, met Liangyi close to her workplace, and then met Chris for lunch. I miss being his fag-hag! (Hey, he named me that himself, I don’t mean to disrespect). Chris had to hurry back to work, and I met Kathy in Paragon and we walked back home. It was gloomy weather, the pavement was wet from the rain. And as we were walking pass Mount Elizabeth hospital, we saw a random Japanese stuff animal lying on the street, sad, drenched and abandoned. Kathy pointed at it, took a photo of it, and tied it to some symbolic significance of my leaving.

At home, Kathy gave me a present, which was a very cute blue zipper bag. Literally a bag made from zippers, she had one too, so we were bag-sisters. Then she took me downstairs and we waited for the cab. She quickly hurried me into the cab because we both were getting teary.

The drive to the airport was quite reflective. I arrived in Singapore by myself (with Mommy of course), and I left by myself. I had zero friends when I arrived in Singapore, and I left Singapore with so many new and lasting friendships. I reflected on so many things: How I changed and matured. The life lessons I gained....

On a more comical note, I left Singapore with 5$ in my OCBC account, I wanted to pay my Singtel bill, but was shocked to find out that I had insufficient balance. When I called Kathy to tell her, we had such a roaring laugh about it. Ghetto!! Just 5$$!

I was dressed in jeans, a dress, a shirt, and necklaces all over me. I carried my guitar, my laptop and another carry on. I looked like a gypsy. The immigration official asked me, “oh so you are coming back to Singapore?” and I lied, and said “Yes.”

Not necessarily lying persay, more that I was hopeful, hopeful that hey maybe I’ll somehow move back to work in Singapore…despite the fact that I was due to work September 3rd at our company in Bangkok.

Or maybe not hopeful, but complete and utter denial.

Or just maybe, I wanted to keep the student pass card as a souvenir.

Regardless, I had the most fabulous 2 years in Singapore. I enjoyed my studies. I am very appreciative of the chance to work with AWARE, and loved volunteering with them. And I am so grateful for all the friends I made.

Most thankful that I still speak to most of them on a regular basis.
So this post is my memory log of my last 2 days in Singapore. What a powerfully emotional Goodbye.

Singapore, I Love You!
Stacy

P.S. Thanks for the memories!

Monday, September 3, 2007

Non-Stop Week

Dear Reader,

I left Singapore already. I am lying in my bed, with Perdy next to me typing out a summary of my last week in Singapore. Took me 10 minutes to shut my eyes and remember.

Goes something like this:

August 20th – Lunch with Neha @ Rangooli, Dinner with my Eliz Tower Family
August 21st – Lunch and Coffee with Soo Leng, Dinner with Rachel and Nelson @ Modestos, watched HAIRSPRAY with Nelson.
August 22nd – Lunch with Wels and Kathy @ Sakae Sushi, Dinner with the Gang @ Vill’age and dessers at NYDC.
August 23rd – Lunch with Liang Yi, Coffee with Angela, and Dinner with Gin Nah and Yeen Yee @ Din Tae Fung
August 24th – Lunch with Pam, Daydreaming session (watched BLOOD BROTHERS starring Chang Chen and Daniel Wu) with Kathy, class BBQ @ Pasir Ris park, and clubbing @ St. James Powerstation with Nelson, Rachel and Anisa.
August 25th – Lunch and coffee with Soo Leng and Richard, Marsha joined, and WOMAD with the gang, supper with Arthur, Xinhui Nelson and Anisa
August 26th – Early Yum Cha @ Goodwood Park with Kathy, Wels and 2 of his colleagues, Stitch removal @ Mt. Elizabeth Hospital, Birthday Yum Cha with Xinhui’s family (her mom’s bday), Dinner with Marsha, Arthur and Xinhui @ Din Tae Fung, and watched Ratatouille with Yeen Yee and Gin Nah
August 27th – Lunch with Mark, Michelle, Xinhui and Cheryl, Grocery shopping with Kathy and house party.
August 28th – Walked Liang Yi to her bus stop, Lunch with Chris, hanging out with Kathy, and Airport.

Wow looking at that summary. I feel that its no wonder I put on 2 kgs and my face is having a full-fledged breakout.

I still have my insomnia, and I would like to get my memories down ‘on paper’ so I will write more about each day.
Read on if you want to

Your resident insomniac,
Stacy

August 23rd – Rain

I spent the whole day eating! Rolled out of bed and met Liang Yi for lunch. We decided to splurge and went to this Korean restaurant for lunch. Afterwards I made my way to Paya Lebar to meet Angela for coffee. The previous day Soo Leng psyched me out for moving back home for cooking, Angela psyched me out for moving back home for business. She made me feel better about moving back home, how I can help more, and be able to see results. Thank you Angela!

Afterwards I went home and took a 20 minute nap. Then I went out to dinner with Gin Nah and Yeen Yee. By 8pm, it was raining hard, so Yeen Yee came to pick me up. Her friend’s car was parked in the other entrance, she told me there was no need to bring an umbrella. There is a covered walkway from Tower A to Tower B. But that didn’t matter at all. The rain was the type of rain that comes and hits you from all directions. I wish I had a better cellphone So I could had taken a photo. I was standing at the foot of the walkway, and I looked ahead to see a soaking wet tiled floor, rain gushing in from the sides, I braced myself and walked ahead.

Dinner with the girls was great, just chit chatting and girly bonding. Will really miss that. Sigh.

August 22nd – Testing Patience

Kathy and I woke up to go have lunch with Wels at Raffles Place. We ended up eating at Sakae Sushi. They both are the sweetest things! Although it is a short time, I really love them and I feel that they cherish me and I cherish them too! It is really amazing how away from home you can find a new family. Then, I have an internal conflict, how can I want to stay in Singapore with my Singapore family and friends, and not return back to my real family?

I dolled up to meet the gang at Vill’age (I would call it Village, but it is suppose to be Vil-la-Jaye) Mark and Xinhui organised the dinner, : Charles, Cat, Michelle, Chris, Eileen, Mark, Xinhui and Kim Siah came. I actually can’t stand Kim Siah at all, he says the most retarded things, but Mark called me and asked if he could invite him and phrased it in a way : “It’s okay to invite Kim Siah right? You aren’t xiao qi right?”

Bah. Anyways we got lots and lots of food to share. And had lots of laughter over dinner and randomly chatting about things. And then Kim Siah would say something and either it wouldn’t be funny, or it wouldn’t be relevant, so the whole table just falls into a * silence *. The guy is a CONVERSATION KILLER!!!

He’d be like “And then on the flight, I said to the girl sitting next to me…..why are we flying China Airlines? I would never fly China Airlines…but.. of course because it is cheap! AH HAH AH HAH AH HAH”

And all of us are like “…..”, probably thinking “that poor girl having to sit next to him for 4 hours straight.” Or…..“hey buddy…can you just shut the hell up???”

Lol.

Oh and we decided to have NYDC for dessert, instead of going upstairs to the NYDC heeren branch. Mark had this wonderful idea of walking to the NYDC branch at Wheelock Place. So that we can “digest our food” haha. And just my luck, I had to sit opposite Mr. Low EQ over desserts. And the whole time I was *rolling my eyes* and thinking…“hey loser…can you just shut the *!@^&*#@!@#* up???!!”

Is he really that bad???
Wait, you gotta know this:
We were talking about this festival in the US, The Burning man festival? How it is wild and you can do anything you want? And he says, “Oh yeah that party is wild. And there are alot of queers.”
Is he really that bad???

YES.

August 21st – Hair Spray

I went to the Thai embassy early in the morning to submit my visa. Part of the visa requirement is one passport size photo, so I went to Far East Shopping Centre to take a photo. The price was 16$ for 8 pictures, but I only wanted 1, ended up bargaining 8$ for 4 pictures. And while the lady was taking my photo she gave me this kinda look like, “wow your hair is extremely messy and there is no way to make it better.” Hah.

Met Soo Leng for lunch and coffee. We chatted a lot, she and Richard are getting married!! They are a lovely couple. And during our coffee session we were talking about cooking and recipes, so she helped psyche me into going home, because at home I can cook all the time, and try new things. I love cooking.

I met Nelson and Rachel for dinner at Vivo. We went to Modestos and had a super healthy dinner, salad, capaccio, and a calzone. I noticed that Singaporeans always say it’s a giant curry puff. I never thought of that. I think its this uber yummy folded pizza. When I found it at York (Toronto), it was my sin of the week. Hawaiian calzone…with lots of mozzarella cheese…super yum.

Afterwards I went to watch Hair Spray with my dai gor Nelson. It was a somewhat fun movie, so far the best movie I’ve seen since a long while. The songs aren’t catchy, but the script is fun. I especially like when they sing, “I am big blonde and beautiful!!”

That’s me!! Big, I have blonde highlights and I’m beautiful!!! Haha. So think of me when you watch it. J

***********************SPOILER ALERT*******************************

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The fat girl, who’s got the moves and a great personality gets the charming good looking hunk in the end! Now that’s my type of movie!

Here is a clip:


August 20th – Gotta Love Paneer

In September 2006, I found myself homeless. And Neha was kind to let me stay with her for 6 weeks at her apartment in Pasir Panjang. We had a great time together bonding and just hanging out. One of our frequent dining place was called Rangooli. On Monday (August 20th) I went back to Pasir Panjang and we had lunch together at Rangooli. I love NAAN!!! And I love Paneer!!! Something I will definitely miss because I don’t think we get it that good in Bangkok. After that we went to NUS, Neha had a class, so I went to hang out…er…SLEEP in the library. Wait, shoot I think I blogged that day. Hmm, anyways afterwards we went to have coffee and I went home.

Although I only had 8 days left in Singapore, I wanted to spend my Monday night at home just hanging out and chilling with my Eliz Tower family. I think we watched this ridiculous movie called 28 days. I remember staying up late, I don’t know why, or what I was doing. Hmmm…

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Let's make a difference. PLEASE

Dear Reader,

You may not know it, but I am working with the Sub-Committee of the Sexual Harassment at the Workplace Research project with AWARE. After 6 months, we are ready to distribute the survey and I hope you can help participate and spread the word out. This survey is for both men and women. Sexual Harassment is just as much a problem for men as it is for women.

Sexual harassment is a growing concern in the workplace, as of now in Singapore, we have no legal recourse in case sexual harassment happens to any of us. (God forbid) There is currently no research on this topic in Singapore, if this research is successful, most likely we can make a change!

The Singapore government was reviewed by CEDAW (Committee on the Elimination of Discrimination against Women) at the UN earlier this month. Lots of critical stuff was discussed during the actual review

(you can check it out these PDF articles:

Issues and Questions: http://daccessdds.un.org/doc/UNDOC/GEN/N07/251/67/PDF/N0725167.pdf?OpenElement

Final comments: http://www.un.org/womenwatch/daw/cedaw/cedaw39/concludingcomments/Singapore_Advance%20unedited.pdf )

Highlights: The UN CEDAW Commitee challenged the government delegation on its "idea that sexual harassment in the schools was adequately addressed." And added that unless a survey was conducted among students, the true nature of the issue would not be known. The Committee said that this applied to all sectors as well.

In its final comments to the government, the Committee encouraged "steps to enact legislative provisions on sexual harassment at the workplace as well as in educational institutions, including sanctions, civil remedies and compensation for victims".


I would greatly appreciate it if you could take 4-5 minutes of your time to complete this survey,

Disclaimer: Super sorry but participants need to be working in Singapore, no overseas entries please! Might distort the picture

It is available online at:

http://askme.digitalboomerang.com/index.php?sid=14

If you want a soft copy, drop me a comment and I will email it to you. The soft copy can be:
1. emailed to aware at: survey@aware.org.sg
or
2. snail mailed to aware at:
c/o SH Committee, Block 5, Dover Crescent, #01-22, Singapore 130005.

The more people that partake in this survey, the more we can find out whether there is a sexual harassment problem in Singapore. And if we have proof that there is a problem, we can take steps to make our working environments safer.

We deserve and we are entitled to work in non-sexually aggressive environments, environments where we are evaluated for the skills we have, not our gender, not our marital status, not on what we wear and how we look.

There is always power in the collective. Hopefully Singaporeans can get together and notice this sexual harassment issue. It isn't a women's issue. It is a national issue.

I hope that from this research we can push for leglisation on Sexual Harassment on the Workplace, and soon after Sexual Harassment on Campus.

Idealistic I know, but you can't shoot a girl for trying.
Can you help me spread the word?
I truly appreciate your support,
Your resident insomniac,
Stacy

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Perpetually Single

Dear Reader,
I was sitting on the MRT yesterday, and saw a couple sitting in front of me. The man tried to speak to his gf and her answers were blunt. He reached out and placed his hand on her hand, and she moved her hand away. loveless.

Somewhat painful to watch. Despite my cynical view towards relationships, I can't shake this ideal picture that couples should be happy in love, if you have constant lull periods, something is wrong with that relationship and you should get out. My parents are happy in love, they hardly fight, and if they have disagreements it would be debates on current issues, never huge things. You can see their happiness. They aren't still together because they are obligated to eachother, it is more that they have mutual dependence. To sound completely corny, they 'complete' eachother.

So that was and still is the environment I exist in. True love and idealistic love. People have been telling me that relationships are not so smooth, there are ups and downs. And when they say things like that, I feel ike I am reading my favourite D.H. Lawrence books.

Periods of passionate romance, and periods of intense hatred.

With a week left in Singapore, I can't help but wonder why am I still single. In Bangkok, I lead an entirely sheltered life. My life is -> "Home, Work, Home" and "Family, family, family" So when I came to Singapore, I naturally thought, because I will be putting myself out there more, I would find someone.

On the telephone today,
Veronica (the Uni Admin lady) : Ah...you go back already hor? why, you didn't find a boyfriend?
Me: No la, where got.
Veronica: Because you are fussy mah.
Me: ....

....

Am I fussy in the sense that I expect relationships to be filled with laughter and love. You know, I don't expect much. Ultimately, I do want to have that true idealistic love, but not now.
I came here knowing that any (love) relationship developed will be dropped when I move back to Bangkok. No long term orientation.

7 days left in Singapore...and I have nothing to drop.
2 years of being single in Singapore, and looking towards another 3 years of being single in Bangkok.

Am I destined to be perpetually single?

I need some sweetness in my life.
Your resident insomniac,
Stacy

Monday, August 20, 2007

Two stitches

I am now sitting in the NUS library blogging. Imagine, I was suppose to be leaving today, how sad.

The previous night I could not sleep. Had yumcha plans with Kathy and Weils (8am!) so after blogging I decided to watch my favourite show: LOVE LETTER on youtube, I watched 2 episodes. Then went to yumcha and Kathy, Weils and Amelie accompanied me to the hospital.

The doctor saw it and said I needed 2 stitches, my goodness! And because of the nature of the cut (i.e. a piece of glass from a garbage bag) I needed a tetanus shot. Kathy came into the room with me and filmed the whole thing. Gotta say, mom trained we really well, takes me to acupuncture often so I am used to needles.

I am really thankful for my flatmates, my Elizabeth Tower family. They are super sweet, so sad to leave them. I fell asleep on the sofa at 11pm. First time I ever slept that early since...i think 1.5months.

The hospital bill came up to $380. CRAZY!! I didn't have enough balance in my account, so Weils helped me pay first. Butter Factory is going to compensate me, I called the manager, at first he was shocked, but he said the most important thing is that I am alright. I am superly impressed, granted that I could probably sue them for a lot more money, sometimes I gotta let things slide, plus Butter Factory is my friends' favourite clubbing joint.

So note: If you are moving to Singapore, or you live here, GET HEALTH INSURANCE. Initially when I moved here I was shocked that there is no concept of universal health care here. There is something called Medisave.

Medisave was introduced in April 1984 as a national medical savings scheme for Singaporeans. The scheme allows Singaporeans to put aside part of their income into a Medisave account to meet future personal or immediate family's hospitalization, day surgery and for certain outpatient expenses.

Under this scheme, Singaporean employees contributes 6-8% (depending on age group) of their monthly salaries to a personal Medisave account. The savings can be withdrawn to pay the hospital bills of the account holder and his immediate family members.

But medisave is different from medicare (canada). It isn't paid health care from the government, rather its the government forcing people to act prudent and put money aside in case anything happens.

Can you imagine my luck, for the past 2 years I have NEVER seen a doctor, and during the last 10 days I need to get stitches and there is a $380 hole in my friend's wallet for it.

I need a nap.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Mini skirts are dangerous

Out of total lack of modesty, I have to tell you that, I have amazing legs. (I have to thank my Dad for these genes. )
Girls would love to have legs like mines, despite my heavy body frame, my legs are fabulously (relatively) slim.

Plus, besides the ocassional clumsy bruises, I have no bumps or scars, and my legs are silky smooth.



My legs --->






Hence, when I do feel super bloated/ballooned, I like to wear skirts or shorts.

That's what I did today. Went to Ted's birthday party, followed by dinner with Liang Yi, Kathy Gilbert and Weils. Came home to rest a bit, got ready to join Ted's birthday plans again. But guess what, I could not find anything to wear! So I pulled out my black mini-skirt, paired with my off-shoulder black tshirt (loose), and of course my killer black heels...I looked amazing. (gotta love my modesty, eh?)

I am a professional Singapore clubber, mark my words, Avoid Butter Factory on Saturdays, it is dead. You are much better off at Zouk or MOS.

And because Butter Factory was a ghost town, Xin Hui and I decided to walk around a bit, and when we were standing in the front foyer, the bus boy was carrying trash out, and BUMPED into me. As in...his huge garbage bag bumped my legs. The bastard didn't even apologised, just rushed out, and then I looked at Xin Hui and said, "Xin Hui, I think he cut me..." and then I put my finger on my left shin, and ....my fingers were bloody!!! Both of us were so shocked!!! (I am happy it is me that got cut and not her)
An edge from a glass bottle sliced my leg, the cut is <-------> this wide, and <--> long. I was so shocked, Xin Hui took me outside to see the manager and there I am hopping with my leg dripping with blood. The manager (both of them) were extremely nice, and calm. They took me to the sofa, took out a first aid kit and helped me wrap the wound. I know I am super dramatic, but the wound looks like it needs stitches, because it isnt a paper cut, the skin is split around...5mm apart. (1/2cm)

So there I am sitting down, with Xin Hui holding my hand, while the manager is putting on the iodine and wrapping my leg with this huge bandage. And I am tearing, not because I am in pain (you will be amazed of the power shock has over accidents) but because my beautiful leg will now have a scar, and worse maybe a bumpy scar.
I think it needs stitches, but after 5 minutes it stopped bleeding, and the manager looked at me and said, "Do you want to go to the hospital? I don't think it needs stitches it is no longer bleeding"
Made me feel stupid to think of the idea of going to the hospital, especially when I just arrived at Butter Factory. The manager was nice and said that if I go to the hospital, Butter Factory will reimburse me any charges. At first I didn't think anything, but now after my shower, after washing the wound, re-bandaging it, and feeling the stinging pain while blogging....I wonder if I need to stitch.
My leg is stinging...I would HATE if I have a lumpy scar, will wake up tomorrow and see the doctor. If you haven't guessed by now, I am incredibly vain. Now I know why celebrities insure their best assets. I wish I insured my legs.... :(
(will post pictures of my bandaged leg when Xin hui sends them to me)
The weird thing is, this is my LAST time at Butter Factory. Next friday I have a class BBQ to go to, and next saturday is WOMAD. I usually wear pants to Butter, the only day I wear a mini-skirt I get a life-scar.
Lesson Learned: Mini-Skirts are dangerous.
(but they are still so flattering!!what to do what to do...)

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Alone Again (Naturally)

I have been waking up everyday for the past 2 weeks with this song in my head:

Alone Again (Naturally)

***
To think that only yesterday I was cheerful, bright and gay Looking forward to who wouldn't do The role I was about to play But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much, as a mere touch Cut me into little pieces Leaving me to doubt Talk about the man and his mercy For if he really does exist Why does he desert me?

In my hour of need I truly am indeed Alone again, naturally.

Seems to me that there are more hearts Broken in the world that can't be mended Left unattended What do we do, what do we do?

In my hour of need I truly am indeed Alone again, naturally
***

Could my subconscious be telling me that this is my new theme song?